EP
77
Helpmeet Nugget
The Danger of Assumption
John & Matilda Joachim
·
May, 2026
Assumption is one of the most dangerous weapons that can quietly destroy a marriage. Some spouses assume they know each other so well that there is nothing new left to discover. That mindset is deeply destructive.
What we often forget is this: no matter how well we think we know our spouses, it is impossible to know everything about another human being. People evolve. Seasons change. Responsibilities reshape us. Experiences refine us.
For example, the husband you knew at thirty, with no children and fewer responsibilities, will not be exactly the same man at fifty-five with five children and decades of life experience. Likewise, the wife you think you fully understand may respond differently, depending on emotional, physical, or hormonal seasons. Growth, stress, maturity, and life transitions all influence behaviour.
This is why we must adopt a humble posture in marriage—always assuming there is more to learn. The moment we conclude, "I already know," we stop listening. And when listening stops, misunderstanding begins.
Scripture warns us clearly:
Proverbs 18:13 (TPT)
Listen before you speak, for to speak before you've heard the facts will bring humiliation.
The key is to master the art of asking questions. When you are unsure, ask. Even when you think you are sure, gently verify. Cross-check. Clarify. Ask again if necessary. Growth requires curiosity.
This aligns with another biblical principle:
John 7:24 (EASY)
Do not quickly decide whether something is right or wrong just because of what you see. Instead, think about it carefully. Then you will judge in the right way.
As married couples, we must practice giving one another the benefit of the doubt. What we think we know may only be half a story dressed in confidence. Assumptions are like shadows—they appear solid until you step on them.
Dear husbands and wives, remember the old wisdom: the one who judges the soup before tasting it may go to bed hungry. And the person who answers before hearing both drums will surely dance to the wrong rhythm.
In marriage, humility listens. Love asks. Wisdom verifies.
What we often forget is this: no matter how well we think we know our spouses, it is impossible to know everything about another human being. People evolve. Seasons change. Responsibilities reshape us. Experiences refine us.
For example, the husband you knew at thirty, with no children and fewer responsibilities, will not be exactly the same man at fifty-five with five children and decades of life experience. Likewise, the wife you think you fully understand may respond differently, depending on emotional, physical, or hormonal seasons. Growth, stress, maturity, and life transitions all influence behaviour.
This is why we must adopt a humble posture in marriage—always assuming there is more to learn. The moment we conclude, "I already know," we stop listening. And when listening stops, misunderstanding begins.
Scripture warns us clearly:
Proverbs 18:13 (TPT)
Listen before you speak, for to speak before you've heard the facts will bring humiliation.
The key is to master the art of asking questions. When you are unsure, ask. Even when you think you are sure, gently verify. Cross-check. Clarify. Ask again if necessary. Growth requires curiosity.
This aligns with another biblical principle:
John 7:24 (EASY)
Do not quickly decide whether something is right or wrong just because of what you see. Instead, think about it carefully. Then you will judge in the right way.
As married couples, we must practice giving one another the benefit of the doubt. What we think we know may only be half a story dressed in confidence. Assumptions are like shadows—they appear solid until you step on them.
Dear husbands and wives, remember the old wisdom: the one who judges the soup before tasting it may go to bed hungry. And the person who answers before hearing both drums will surely dance to the wrong rhythm.
In marriage, humility listens. Love asks. Wisdom verifies.